Candid dating: Confessions from a virtual speed dating rookie

Yes, I did it. I went virtual speed dating, so you don’t have to. That is, unless you really want to. Which you may, after reading this review. 

Admitting that your search for love and companionship could use some outside help can make you feel a bit self-conscious. Virtual speed dating presents the additional hurdle of wondering if you’re just becoming an internet troll. Being sent into a zoom-room for seven minutes with a stranger is one sure way to rip off that bandaid.. 

My experience with Candid Dating 

With the app Candid, I had the opportunity to talk to other Catholic singles across the country and be matched with some in my state. I had so much fun and really love the platform’s design and user experience. If you’re looking to discern dating in a low-stakes environment, I’d recommend it!

It’s one of the more cost-effective Catholic online dating platforms with a flat rate for all services. For $20 per month, you receive personalized matches and can attend two live virtual speed dating events, all hosted within the app itself. I found Candid to be way more intentional and innovative than traditional dating apps. What’s unique is how you have to wait for your matches to appear. I got matched with someone once to twice per week, and no more. This slowed down the doom scrolling for love habit which I greatly appreciated. 

A quick warning for Gen X and above; Candid seems more centered on Gen-Z and Millennial audiences since they promote the app at SEEK conferences. They do offer events for other generations, but by and large, the focus is on young adults.

How it actually works 

I signed up for two rounds of virtual speed dating on different week nights. My category was older Gen Z, grad school students, and the recently graduated; participants were between 22 and 25 years old . Depending on the event you attend, the age range, location, and time can change. 

The Zoom-style speed dating provided first date coaching before the event started. Candid experts recommend “starting with genuine interest in getting to know the other person, share what you’re excited about lately, your passions, goals, dreams, and hobbies.”

This gives you a minute to breathe before starting. It’s a pause to actually consider what type of person you are looking for and what you can offer someone else. This moment is crucial because it reminded me that dating is about connection first with an actual person — not their potential.

I was given seven minutes with each "date." Right before being connected, a pop-up screen let me read their bio quickly. Then, hopefully with good wifi, you find a connection. Both in tech and personality. 

After your date, there's an exit survey based on chemistry, conversation flow, distance, values, and attraction level for each date. For Round One of speed dating, I went on five dates for seven minutes. Another time, I was supposed to go on 10 dates, but only seven showed up. How many people sign up for the live event alters the amount of dates you can potentially go on. 

When the event ends, you have an opportunity to change or modify your answers for all your dates. If it's a mutual yes, you get matched. I loved this feature because it takes away the stress of letting someone down, feeling unsure, and people pleasing. You’re free to be honest with yourself and remember your standards in real time.

The strange intimacy of speed dating 

Speed dating was a great way to meet other Catholics across the country without the travel costs. It reminded me that the Catholic Church is vast and filled with so many wonderful people. Even if you aren’t interested romantically, you’ve just encountered someone you may never have had the chance to meet otherwise. 

I found myself cheering other people on in their search for a spouse, learning a lot about different career fields, and sharpening my own communication skills. Events like this really help shove you into a social situation that keeps you on your toes. It also is a great reminder that connection isn’t about preferences and perfectionism. It’s also not about waiting for the perfect person to appear and solve all your unrequited love woes. It’s about respect, empathy, and kindness towards others. These qualities and habits make you dateable, prepare you for your spouse, and teach you how to interact respectfully with everyone you meet.

If you’re looking for curated connections, some fun, and expected “face-time,” Candid may just be for you.